My Views on Mainstream Music (Pinterest 30 Day Challenge- Day #6)

Not going to lie, I had to Google what mainstream music was to make sure I was right. It's finals week so have pity on me, okay?

Okay, so mainstream music is like Top 40 music. I'd be lying if I said that I don't fall into the trap of the new catchy single of the week, but they're not all winners.

Justin Bieber? Can't stand him. Carly Rae Jepsen? A few of her songs are all right. Taylor Swift? Lately, I end up hating her songs at first and then falling in love with them within a week.

Therefore, I'd have to say that my views depend on the song or the artist. Lyrics are really important to me, so if a song doesn't have a message that I agree with or if it's too repetitive, it's generally not my favorite.

Honestly, I like all kinds of music from Queen to Beyonce to Carrie Underwood so if it's a good song or a good artist in general, I'm in.

That being said, I'm going on a road trip next week and would love your musical recommendations!

Things I'd Say to an Ex (Pinterest 30 Day Challenge- Day #5)

I could not be more prepared to write this blog post. You see, on Saturday last, my friends and I drove out to a park and had a bonfire/smores session/burn party. Each of us wrote letters to people we needed to forgive, some of us including ourselves. We read these letters aloud and then burned them. It was all about leaving the past behind and moving forward without hate, without judgment, etc. It was a great bonding experience for those of us there, and it really was sort of cleansing to the soul. I recommend it especially for those with exes, bad roommates, former backstabbing friends, etc. Anyhow, because of my most recent weekend plans, I've said all the negative things I needed to say about each of them. Here is what I would say to each of them now:

Dear Ex-Boyfriend/s,

You messed up. I messed up. It's called being human. In the end, I ended up with the person I was always meant to love and always meant to share my life with. For some of you, you have met the princess to your prince as well and are well on your way to mostly happily-ever-after. I congratulate us both on loving again, and on finding who we really work with...who we can say absolutely nothing to but still feel close to, who we can share Netflix binges with, who helps us draw nearer to God. For those of you haven't met her yet, I hope that someday you will. I also hope that you will have learned from our mistakes in our relationship and treat her that much better.

I forgive you for everything you did. For some of you, I know you never meant to hurt me. For others, I know you did but that there were reasons behind your choices. There are some of you still that I truly hope get the help you need to live and love functionally. I would really like to sit here and tell you how everything you all did was so wrong (true), how I am worth more than how you all treated me (also true), and how I hope you all have to face the consequences (not so true anymore)....I imagine you will have to face consequences but I don't want to punish you anymore. I want you to learn and move forward. I want you to do what I am currently trying to do, which is to see all those mistakes as building blocks to where I am now. I am still not perfect. Neither are you. We never will be in this life. I am trying, though. I am trying to always be better than I was yesterday.

I used to hold on to everything, against myself and those from my past. I remembered every detail of every wrong made against me or committed by me...but that's not moving on. Moving on is acknowledging those mistakes yes, but then using them to be better. With some of you, I was too clingy. With others, I didn't stand up for myself or the others you hurt. Yet still with others, I lost my identity as I tried to morph into who you wanted me to be. Now, I am married to a handsome man with a beautiful soul. Despite how awesome he is, I have come to understand the need for times where you aren't always in each other's space. There is a true importance to alone time and what you can accomplish within it. He and I are always together, but sometimes apart. I have learned to use my voice, in defense of myself and those around me who need my help. Lastly, I have learned that who I am is okay with me. I was never the gothic or alternative girl you thought I was, although I really did/do like Good Charlotte and Simple Plan, and believe that black is a good color for me (just not covered from head to toe). I was never the 100% geek girl who loved video games/anime/whatever Myspace or Tumblr was obsessing over at the time, although I do occasionally play on my husband's Xbox and enjoy other "nerdy" things. I was never the girl I became for you. I was me, underneath all the perfectly researched and pretended interests... but I wanted you to like me more. I wanted to be who you wanted.

Now, I know that I only want to be liked for who I am and that's a lot of things. I love superhero movies, all kinds of music, dancing even though I can't, and studying true crime. I think the bubble bath is the best place for reading. I love history, but only the parts that I deem the most interesting. I read books meant for teenage girls and think they're really good despite the fact that I read at an above college level. I love things that everyone else makes fun of. Believe it or not, I used to adore Twilight...we're talking total fangirl who took a trip to Forks and posed in the meadow...until I researched it in college. I love shooting at targets but would never shoot an animal (although I don't shame those who do).  I am all these things and more, and if you don't like that, I don't consider it a necessity to change myself anymore. I hope that you are or can become proud of yourself, no matter who is watching or silently judging. Let that be on them.

In closing, I hope that you live your life to the fullest and figure out what you need to in order to be happy and no longer hurt the ones you care about or love. I will no longer be held back by those who never really knew me, and therefore who I was never really with.

Warmest Regards,
Your Ex-Girlfriend

Bullet My Whole Day (Writing Challenge Day #4)

This time, my challenge subject seems a little off to me. For one, every single one of my days is different with only some consistencies. For this then, I will run you all through what a typical day looks like for me, perhaps with a little sarcasm inserted.

7:30AM (or earlier a lot of the times): Wake up. Admit to myself I hate waking up. Hit the snooze button and snuggle for just 9 more minutes with my adorable puppy and handsome husband.
7:45: Actually wake up, still hating it. Get ready for the day (e.g. Shower if I didn't the night before, shove something down my throat because I know breakfast is the healthiest meal of the day but I hate it unless it's bad-for-me-cereal or involves bacon and/or pancakes shaped like Minnie Mouse, brush my teeth, do my hair, do my makeup, miss my bed, review my agenda for the day, walk the dog, etc.)
8:30: Go to class or work, sometimes both.
12: Take a break from class or work and eat lunch (usually Ramen, cheap Mac and cheese, or leftovers)
1: back to work and/or class
5: Begin a never-ending stream of to-do list items.
6: Make and have dinner. Sometimes, I switch off with my bestie.
7: Exercise (swimming, walking, Just Dance or Insanity)
8: More never-ending to-do list items. Isn't my life so exciting?!
9PM on: hang out with friends, read, suck at playing Xbox, crash into bed at some point.
Ongoing: being a clutz, being a goofball, loving on my hubbie/friends/puppy, being stubborn, dreaming of meeting Ian Somerhalder or at least Tyler Ward, idolizing Lea Michele and fictional female powerhouses like Katniss Everdeen, and pretending I have some idea as to what's going on.

I hope you enjoyed a day in my life and are okay with the fact that I totally left out the top-secret fact that I'm Batman and actually fight crime all day. The end.

A Book I Love (Pinterest 30 Day Challenge- Day#3)

Let me just start by saying books are some of the greatest things ever, and I'm talking about real books...not magazines, not online articles, not even Kindles (personal preference), though these things all have a time and a place where they can be fun and informative too! I have so many books that I love, so many genres and so little time to enjoy them all. In fact, I love so many books quite equally that it's really hard to talk about just one...but I will try my best.

The book I would like to discuss today is "Mockingjay" by Suzanne Collins. It is the third book in the "Hunger Games" series, and if you haven't read the book, I am sure you have at least heard of Katniss, Peeta and their friends from their time in gracing the silver screen.

To briefly catch you up on the events from Books 1 and 2, "The Hunger Games" and "Catching Fire" respectively, the story line features main character, Katniss Everdeen. Katniss lives in a futuristic time in which America rebelled against its government and failed. The country is split into twelve districts and a Capitol. The capitol is where the elite live and control the districts,symbolizing government reign on the people when democracy fails. The districts are in varying degrees of poverty, with Districts 1 and 2 being favored heavily by the government. Katniss comes from District 12, the poorest of all the districts. She lives with her mother and sister, as her father passed away in a coal mining incident. Once a year, as punishment for their rebellion, the capitol calls two children aged anywhere from 12-18 (one male and one female) to fight in the Hunger Games. The Hunger Games is an event in which these twenty-four children will fight to the death. There is only one winner, and if that person wins, they are rewarded with riches and other perks for the rest of their life. Katniss' sister Primrose is only 12 and her name is selected. Katniss volunteers to take her place, and joins Peeta, a delightful and handsome baker boy, to represent her district. Through some tricks up Katniss' sleeve, both her and Peeta win the games and come home alive. That is the end of "The Hunger Games", minus several awesome details but if you want to know them, crack a book open over the summer and find out for yourself. In "Catching Fire", Katniss is called back to the Hunger Games due to a stupid rule for the Quarter Quell, which was totally made up just to spite her and Peeta despite the Capitol saying it was written at the beginning of the new political system. Her and Peeta go, make some allies, almost die about one hundred times, and then Katniss is lifted out of the arena after her actions trigger another full-scale rebellion, but Peeta is left behind.

There, you're all caught up. Seriously though, if that's a good enough explanation for you, we can't be friends. Just kidding, but you really should read the books if you haven't. In Mockingjay, Peeta comes to join Katniss in a secret district that will lead the fight against the Capitol. However, he was severely tortured and brainwashed so he wants to kill her. Gale is there too, being as smug as ever, and fueling her hatred toward just about everything and everyone. Prim remains Katniss' saving grace as the little sister who only sees a hero. Katniss fights in the revolution, but some bad stuff happens that I will not spoil here, and she ends up at home feeling all but completely dead, emotionally and physically. In the end, Peeta helps her to see love again and she fights her depression.

This is a book I love, because I love Katniss. She is all the things that I am, and all the things that I wish I could be. She is fierce, dedicated, motivated and individualistic. She doesn't shy from a fight, especially when she knows she is standing up for others who are in the right. She loves her sibling in an unconditional way, despite how most other siblings fight. She chooses her family over men, and supports them even without the influence of a father. Finally, she chooses someone to love based on their ability to make her want to be a better person. That is a good reason to love, as opposed to sharing mutual hatred and anger.

In the end, she is the mockingjay, a symbol of love overcoming hatred, and that is what I want to be. As many of you know, I love this country very much. I want to defend it as a law enforcement officer, and when I say "it", I mean the people. It is the people of our countries, our cultures, our families and our inner circle that make life worth living. To love all of them is to be above the squabbles and ready to fight for them rather than against them. Everywhere you look these days, there is some kind of ism- racism, sexism, ageism, nationalism, and so on. People are disrespecting history, denying God and trying so hard to fit in with what's current that they miss what's right. How can we demand the Dukes of Hazzard be removed from television for its painting of a confederate flag on a car's roof, but not demand that God stay in our schools and government? How is it okay to be upset at the racism, sexism or homophobia of yesterday or today, and then discriminate against others as revenge? The answer is that it's not. It's not okay. Racism isn't okay no matter what the color of your skin is. There's no such thing as reverse racism. It's just racism. Being homosexual and disrupting someone's life for having religious beliefs is no worse than them discriminating against you. Learn to love. Leave the hatred in the history textbooks, and move on. Be a mockingjay.

Something I Feel Strongly About (Pinterest 30 Day Challenge Day 2)

Now, I know that it has been multiple days (try weeks) since I last wrote, but this is for Day 2 of the Challenge. I will follow the chronological posting guide, but with school/work/any remaining semblance of a social life, I can't promise to post every day.

When considering this post, the first thought that came to mind was justice. Most people would think about family, friendship, morality, etc. All of those things are incredibly important to me as well but what makes me stand out from the crowd is my passion for justice. There is nothing like the sense of accomplishment and pride when the justice system works as it should...and nothing makes my blood boil faster than when it is taken advantage of, abused, or totally destroyed.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved watching crime shows and reading true crime novels. From a very young age and through the never-ending court battles of my parents (among other personal situations), I have seen the justice system fail so many times. I was a child lost in a sea of red tape, well-crafted lies and everybody trying to find the easiest way out...not the best way, not in the best interest of the child but whatever would be most time and cost effective.

I watched my mother do everything right in never-ending piles of paperwork and litigation battles. I watched lawyers, judges and mediators decide what was best for my family without discussing it with us...and all of that was just the tip of the iceberg as far as my experiences with justice went. There were cops who bent and broke the rules, there were trusted confidants who broke my trust in ways my innocent mind couldn't comprehend, and there were bad people who got away with bad things.

From the time I was about 12, I knew I wanted to do something with my life that involved the world of law enforcement. In these last eleven years, I have gone from wanting to be a prosecuting attorney to an FBI agent to a homicide detective. Currently, my goal is to serve in the juvenile department of a local police department before graduating into the U.S. Marshals. Why? Because I believe I can make a difference to all of that lack of justice I grew up with and around. I believe that one person can make a difference, even in a world where so many things go wrong. I believe that through my experiences, through my learning at a university so blessed by God, and through my passion, I can be a law enforcement officer that brings light back into a darkened area of our nation's history in dealing with violations of law.

Now, I am not saying that there are no good cops, lawyers, judges, etc. in the world. I would never say that. For the most part, I believe that the law enforcement community is one of good people who sacrifice their time and at least a part of their lives to protect their communities. However, it is the few who stigmatize the many and that is a problem that needs to be dealt with when children don't feel comfortable asking a cop for help, or when people assume to take the law into their hands because they don't believe they can trust those assigned or appointed to help them.

Over the years, there have been several major cases that continue to inspire me to be a cop...so that if I were ever to encounter a situation like that, I could do something different. I could do something better. I could do something right. Among these cases are those of Nicole Brown Simpson and O.J. Simpson, the case of Travis Alexander and Jodi Arias, the ancient case of Lizzie Borden, the case of Laci and Scott Peterson, the few serial killers that have ever plagued this earth, and finally the case of Jon Benet Ramsey. Side Bar: If ever any of you would like to discuss this or other true crime stories, I would truly enjoy that.

I guess I will leave you with a quote, because as it says in the movie American History X, if you can't say it better than someone else, don't try to. Malcolm X once said, "I'm for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it's for or against."  Speak and seek truth in all that you do. Justice will follow.

Five Ways to Win My Heart (Pinterest 30 Day Challenge- Day #1)

5. One of the biggest ways to win my heart is if you love animals (or if you are one). I adore (almost) all animals, and am a huge advocate for animal shelters and against animal abuse. I have owned and loved many cats, dogs, fish and even a rabbit. Right now, my puppy Piper is one of the biggest loves of my life. I truly believe that animals can be our best friends, a testament to true loyalty, and an example of love beyond what even some humans are capable of. Here's a picture of my beautiful Piper girl and my wonderful husband at Yellowstone last summer.

4. The next way to win my heart is if you are below the age of 10 or above the age of 70. I may be weird but I think little kids and the elderly are just adorable. Is there anything cuter than a kid running around so full of joy, or an elderly couple still so in love after so many years? For me, seeing things like that can always put a  smile on my face. I am the oldest sibling and my two youngest siblings are the greatest kids ever. For me, they will always be little and innocent. My sister, Kiera, is a beautiful and talented girl who is growing up way too fast! My brother, Noah, is an awesome kid who loves almost everything nerdy that I do! Here's a picture of them!

3. Another big way to win my heart is if you serve. It doesn't have to be serving me (although I do so always appreciate and love those who do). If you serve anyone or anything, from God to animals to kids to your community, you have the ability to touch my heart. I believe the world would be so much more lovely and kind if only we all took a little time out of our days to make the world around us a better place. I love being active in Sociology Society, the Rexburg Animal Shelter, in my church and in multiple foundations for breast cancer and diabetes. Here's a picture of some friends and I volunteering at the Rexburg Animal Shelter! You'll see that Piper likes to hang out there too!

2. If you love reading, criminology, Netflix, board games or swimming, I love you! To put it in more simple ways, if we have things in common, you win my heart with each new exclamation of "Team Damon" or "I love Shakespeare" or "What do you think about this famous serial killer?" That's not to say that there isn't room in my heart for those who don't have much in common with me. I love being challenged. I have an open mind, and love exploring different ways of thinking....so if you can get me to do that, I love you too! 

1. If you love God or Jesus Christ, or at least believe in treating others as you would want to be treated (with kindness, respect and humility), then I love you. Even if you don't, I love you. It's a big way to win my heart though if you can do something to make me believe MORE...more in humanity, more in faith, more in anything. This is a picture of the Sacred Grove in Palmyra, NY. You may not agree with my religion, and that's okay...but I have always found this place to be beautiful and a true testament to the splendor of this world that He created.

So, confession, this was actually hard for me to narrow down. I truly believe that my heart is big enough to be won over in an infinite number of ways. I may come across as kind of difficult sometimes. I have been hurt and it has affected me...but I can still love, and I thank God for that every day.

First Challenge: Pinterest 30 Day Challenge

I chose this challenge because I saw a friend do it, and thought it would be a fun way to get started writing again!