I am one of those people who just love to learn. I strive to learn something new every day. The thing I learned most recently is that there are giant arrows on the ground all over the United States that used to be for directing air traffic (it's kind of cool actually, look it up!).
Therefore, I can honestly tell you that I think education is very important so long as the point of that education is to learn, teach and be taught. I have the greatest respect for teachers who don't treat their students like their just a check mark, but rather as a person who has so much to learn. The teachers who actually teach are the best!
Ever since I was a little girl (and got past the nerves of the first day of kindergarten...we've all been there, right?), I have loved to go to school. I love enhancing my knowledge and often have animated discussions with my husband after every college class I attend about what information I gathered in that time (and he even pretends to be interested, what a great husband :P).
I don't really know what else to say without being redundant so I will end with this final thought. Without education of some kind (I don't care if you're homeschooled, public schooled, private schooled, or self-taught), we do not learn as much...Without learning and acquiring knowledge, we could be in danger of ignorance and ignorance breeds all sorts of awful things...so seek to learn every day and keep being awesome, followers!
Completely random side note: Next week, I plan on starting my new blog, "Concert Diaries of a Girl Found in Music." Let me know if you'd like to know about updates for it!
Monday, September 28, 2015
Sunday, September 20, 2015
What I Ate Today (Both Literally and Figuratively)
Today, as it is only 10:05AM as I write this, I have eaten two small and very healthy, apple pie-flavored muffins. They were homemade by yours truly with ingredients like oat flour, Greek yogurt and you guessed it, apples. However, I tell My Fitness Pal every day what I have to eat and it usually yells at me to eat more protein or something to that effect.
Therefore, today I want to write about how I figuratively ate crow. The expression apparently originated in 1812 when an American soldier shot a crow out of the sky. A British soldier caught him, and despite complimenting him on his skill as a marksman, punished the American for killing the creature by making him eat the crow. It was apparently quite unpalatable (Atlanta Constitution article, 1888). Nowadays, the idiom of eating crow means to admit when you were wrong...and I have some things to admit to.
I started off my evening in Salt Lake City with two very good friends and my sister-in-law at a Tyler Ward concert (seriously, check him out on YouTube...he's fantastic). I expected an evening of light and easy fun. I joked about how cute the singer was. The whole time I ignored a situation with a friend that was just easier not to talk about or deal with.
Well, this amazing thing happened where Tyler's power supplies wouldn't work. It totally threw off his whole set but instead of postponing or cancelling the show, he rolled with the punches and decided to play acoustically. As a lot of Tyler's set depended on the power, he had some time to play around with. Somehow, he decided to bare his soul to us...and I am so glad he did. He talked about some regrets he had, some battles he had fought, and the power of God to help us get through such situations. He invited the crowd to reflect on themselves and their lives, and to determine if there was anything we needed to let go of. If we did, he asked that we get a pen and paper, that we write down that/those thing/s, and that we put it in a box just outside the venue. He promised he would burn them at his next show as a symbol of our letting those things go. Always game for such challenges, I pulled out a pad of Mickey Mouse stationery and my friend pulled out a pen. I first passed the supplies to my dear sister-in-law so that I could think for a minute. Then, I knew...I knew what I needed to let go of: hate, insecurities, and grudges. I filled out the paper and then decided to share with the crowd (side note: it was a really cool experience to pass out a pad with almost 100 pieces of paper and see the remaining 3 pages on a table at the end of the night).
As I held that paper in my hand and listened to Tyler and the crowd sing, I anxiously waited to drop it in the box at the end of the night. That's when I realized how much I had weighing on me. The way I saw it, I had three major problems outside of the normal stresses of life (e.g. school, work, household/church/social responsibilities).
1. I had made my sweet and wonderful husband feel insecure by talking about Tyler Ward.
2. I was holding on to a lot of grudges, and not taking accountability to make things better.
3. I was shutting out a friend because he had made me feel betrayed, insecure, and vulnerable.
So, let's address things one at a time as too much crow at once could kill a girl. First, my awesome and amazing husband... I have this problem and I honestly think a lot of women do where when we see a very handsome man, we comment on it...no matter who's around. Irresponsibly, I had made my husband feel jealous of this person I was going to see perform. Fangirls (and fanboys, sometimes) say a lot of things about the unattainable celebrity and everything they love about them...when the truth is, we don't know that person at all. I will tell you that Tyler Ward was not the cookie cutter musician type I had him pegged for. He has admirable story and an inspiring testimony of the Lord. He is far more than some flippy hair and the ability to play the guitar. For him and the world to know, I love my husband more than words can describe. Every love song I have ever heard somehow reminds me of him...and the best ones could have been written about us. I was wrong to discuss another man, even a somewhat celebrity, in a way that made my husband feel insecure...because the truth is, at the end of the night, the only person's cuteness that I care about is my husband's. He is the only man that I want forever. He is the only man that I want period, in all honesty. So girls, please don't make the mistake I did...make sure your husbands/boyfriends know they always come first, when it comes to your heart or anything else for that matter.
Okay, one helping of crow down and two more to go. So let's talk about my second of all... It's no secret that I've faced a lot of disappointment and regret in my life. Who hasn't? However, I made the mistake of even temporarily letting those things and those events define me. You know what else I've had a lot of in my life? Happiness. Love. Acceptance. Forgiveness. It's time to focus on the brighter things....because I'd rather be able to blame my behavior on my optimistic heart than my pessimistic brain. I mean, just think about how different the outcome would be. We all live with insecurities. They will sometimes rear their ugly heads...but I won't let that define me anymore. I am not my insecurities. I am the strength that I gained from overcoming them...and so are you.
This last serving of crow seems to be the most raw. I had a friend, who shall remain nameless, that had what essentially amounted to a hate file about me. When I saw it on his computer and read it, it broke my heart. I could feel the metaphorical knife slipping in to my back. Then, to make matters worse, he lied to me about it in that really obvious way that you know there's no way what that person is saying could be true. Then, to top it all off, he attempted to place the blame on my husband. While none of that was okay, and it really wasn't, neither was my reaction. As quickly as you can meet someone, I cut him out of my life without even allowing him to explain himself. It was a deleted Facebook friendship, an order to not speak to me or my husband, and hours of venting later that I recognized what I was feeling...it was the bubbles of the poison that is hate beginning to intoxicate me. Rather than recognize my wrongdoing, I decided to shut down instead. It's far easier to be a shoulder for your best friend and husband to cry on if you don't allow yourself to feel anything (yes, it is possible...easy even...it's turning everything back on that is the most painful and the most difficult). It's far easier to go to class and to work if you pretend it doesn't bother you that you were feeling like your spleen just got ripped out. Then, my husband texted me a message: Proverbs 17:17. It says, in a more updated form of speaking: "A friend is loving at all times, and becomes a brother in times of trouble." While my friend should have addressed his concerns out of love instead of hiding them for whatever reason....while he shouldn't have lied....while he should have taken accountability instead of playing the blame game....I ran. In times of trouble, when I was meant to become his sister, I ran because I was hurt. I was scared. I was more protective over my other friend/his wife, and my husband. I left him alone, and without love. This...this act of returned betrayal...coming from me, the girl who spouts off random quotes all the time like "Friends are the family you get to choose." I made it my motto and I abandoned myself to hide.
Today, I let that go. When Tyler burns that slip of paper I dropped into a box, it will really only be a symbol for what I have already let go. I ate my crow...I admitted my wrong. Now, I focus on a brighter tomorrow and making things better. I decide what defines me, and I choose words like love and family, not insecurity and betrayal.
Therefore, today I want to write about how I figuratively ate crow. The expression apparently originated in 1812 when an American soldier shot a crow out of the sky. A British soldier caught him, and despite complimenting him on his skill as a marksman, punished the American for killing the creature by making him eat the crow. It was apparently quite unpalatable (Atlanta Constitution article, 1888). Nowadays, the idiom of eating crow means to admit when you were wrong...and I have some things to admit to.
I started off my evening in Salt Lake City with two very good friends and my sister-in-law at a Tyler Ward concert (seriously, check him out on YouTube...he's fantastic). I expected an evening of light and easy fun. I joked about how cute the singer was. The whole time I ignored a situation with a friend that was just easier not to talk about or deal with.
Well, this amazing thing happened where Tyler's power supplies wouldn't work. It totally threw off his whole set but instead of postponing or cancelling the show, he rolled with the punches and decided to play acoustically. As a lot of Tyler's set depended on the power, he had some time to play around with. Somehow, he decided to bare his soul to us...and I am so glad he did. He talked about some regrets he had, some battles he had fought, and the power of God to help us get through such situations. He invited the crowd to reflect on themselves and their lives, and to determine if there was anything we needed to let go of. If we did, he asked that we get a pen and paper, that we write down that/those thing/s, and that we put it in a box just outside the venue. He promised he would burn them at his next show as a symbol of our letting those things go. Always game for such challenges, I pulled out a pad of Mickey Mouse stationery and my friend pulled out a pen. I first passed the supplies to my dear sister-in-law so that I could think for a minute. Then, I knew...I knew what I needed to let go of: hate, insecurities, and grudges. I filled out the paper and then decided to share with the crowd (side note: it was a really cool experience to pass out a pad with almost 100 pieces of paper and see the remaining 3 pages on a table at the end of the night).
As I held that paper in my hand and listened to Tyler and the crowd sing, I anxiously waited to drop it in the box at the end of the night. That's when I realized how much I had weighing on me. The way I saw it, I had three major problems outside of the normal stresses of life (e.g. school, work, household/church/social responsibilities).
1. I had made my sweet and wonderful husband feel insecure by talking about Tyler Ward.
2. I was holding on to a lot of grudges, and not taking accountability to make things better.
3. I was shutting out a friend because he had made me feel betrayed, insecure, and vulnerable.
So, let's address things one at a time as too much crow at once could kill a girl. First, my awesome and amazing husband... I have this problem and I honestly think a lot of women do where when we see a very handsome man, we comment on it...no matter who's around. Irresponsibly, I had made my husband feel jealous of this person I was going to see perform. Fangirls (and fanboys, sometimes) say a lot of things about the unattainable celebrity and everything they love about them...when the truth is, we don't know that person at all. I will tell you that Tyler Ward was not the cookie cutter musician type I had him pegged for. He has admirable story and an inspiring testimony of the Lord. He is far more than some flippy hair and the ability to play the guitar. For him and the world to know, I love my husband more than words can describe. Every love song I have ever heard somehow reminds me of him...and the best ones could have been written about us. I was wrong to discuss another man, even a somewhat celebrity, in a way that made my husband feel insecure...because the truth is, at the end of the night, the only person's cuteness that I care about is my husband's. He is the only man that I want forever. He is the only man that I want period, in all honesty. So girls, please don't make the mistake I did...make sure your husbands/boyfriends know they always come first, when it comes to your heart or anything else for that matter.
Okay, one helping of crow down and two more to go. So let's talk about my second of all... It's no secret that I've faced a lot of disappointment and regret in my life. Who hasn't? However, I made the mistake of even temporarily letting those things and those events define me. You know what else I've had a lot of in my life? Happiness. Love. Acceptance. Forgiveness. It's time to focus on the brighter things....because I'd rather be able to blame my behavior on my optimistic heart than my pessimistic brain. I mean, just think about how different the outcome would be. We all live with insecurities. They will sometimes rear their ugly heads...but I won't let that define me anymore. I am not my insecurities. I am the strength that I gained from overcoming them...and so are you.
This last serving of crow seems to be the most raw. I had a friend, who shall remain nameless, that had what essentially amounted to a hate file about me. When I saw it on his computer and read it, it broke my heart. I could feel the metaphorical knife slipping in to my back. Then, to make matters worse, he lied to me about it in that really obvious way that you know there's no way what that person is saying could be true. Then, to top it all off, he attempted to place the blame on my husband. While none of that was okay, and it really wasn't, neither was my reaction. As quickly as you can meet someone, I cut him out of my life without even allowing him to explain himself. It was a deleted Facebook friendship, an order to not speak to me or my husband, and hours of venting later that I recognized what I was feeling...it was the bubbles of the poison that is hate beginning to intoxicate me. Rather than recognize my wrongdoing, I decided to shut down instead. It's far easier to be a shoulder for your best friend and husband to cry on if you don't allow yourself to feel anything (yes, it is possible...easy even...it's turning everything back on that is the most painful and the most difficult). It's far easier to go to class and to work if you pretend it doesn't bother you that you were feeling like your spleen just got ripped out. Then, my husband texted me a message: Proverbs 17:17. It says, in a more updated form of speaking: "A friend is loving at all times, and becomes a brother in times of trouble." While my friend should have addressed his concerns out of love instead of hiding them for whatever reason....while he shouldn't have lied....while he should have taken accountability instead of playing the blame game....I ran. In times of trouble, when I was meant to become his sister, I ran because I was hurt. I was scared. I was more protective over my other friend/his wife, and my husband. I left him alone, and without love. This...this act of returned betrayal...coming from me, the girl who spouts off random quotes all the time like "Friends are the family you get to choose." I made it my motto and I abandoned myself to hide.
Today, I let that go. When Tyler burns that slip of paper I dropped into a box, it will really only be a symbol for what I have already let go. I ate my crow...I admitted my wrong. Now, I focus on a brighter tomorrow and making things better. I decide what defines me, and I choose words like love and family, not insecurity and betrayal.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Five Pet Peeves
Boy, it sure has been a long time since I got on here to write. For those interested, I had a lovely 7 week break with my mother, stepfather and siblings in PA. Now, it's back with nose to the grindstone for fall semester...starting tomorrow. However, I have decided that I will commit to a blog every Sunday. For now, I will still be sticking with challenges, which brings us to....pet peeves, ta da!
Pet peeves are an interesting concept. An old acquaintance of mine pointed out the other day that pet peeves are literally being described as our cherished annoyances. As I do not cherish the idea of being annoyed, I will be listing these pet peeves of mine in order from least annoyance to most annoyance and not least cherished to most cherished.
5. Being a walking, talking mess.
Okay, so this is the lesser of my pet peeves but it is still in the top 5 because...well, let's just say that my friends have diagnosed me (jokingly) as having OCD...including a friend who probably really does have OCD. I can't stand messes. I can't stand disorder. I am the organizing queen, and if somehow I have let my apartment go without a good cleaning for too long, I just won't go home until it's livable again (luckily, I have a very nice husband who picks up my slack). However, at the uppermost pinpoint of this pet peeve are people who come into my clean or organized space and make a mess out of it. It's bad enough when I'm the one to blame...you see, I'm not very nice to myself if my DVDs aren't ordered by genre or if the couch doesn't smell like flowers. Therefore, it is very hard to remain calm when I find the after remnants of a guest to be pluckings from my feather pillows, trash not in the trash can, etc. It's not to say that to be a guest in my home you have to be like me. Of course not. If the whole world were like me, there would be ZERO messes...and messes can be turned into things like art. It's just that I would love for you to use a coaster and remove your shoes. In all seriousness, even if you leave rings on my furniture or break something, I still love you. I just may need to go to my happy place for a while. Ah, the mind vacations I take to the Bahamas.
4. Being so cheap that you either end up a mooch or a recluse.So, I have this thing where I like to organize get togethers and parties. For those of you who have seen the hit sitcom Friends, my lovely buddies call me "the Monica." I am all about Pinterest, and movie nights, and organized events. I am all about Friendsgiving, White Elephant Christmas parties, and ringing the New Year in with streamers, confetti, and kisses. In order to fulfill my craving for a good, well-organized time so frequently, I usually ask people to chip in with food or monetary contributions. We like to go Dutch when we go out with our friends, etcetera etcetera. What gets under my collar here is when someone will specifically not go out or join the party because they don't want to contribute. Now, myself and a lot of my friends are college students so I'm not talking about those hard times we all have between paychecks where we can't contribute. I always back my friends in those situations if I can, and they do the same for me. I'm talking about having the money and wanting to go, but not wanting to spend your money. Everyone likes to treat each other now and again, including me. However, this is not the automatic norm and friends should not expect other friends to foot all their social bills. Neither should family members. Or freaky vampires that sparkle. Okay, even I don't know where that last one came from. It's 3:54 in the morning and I'm still at work so....yeah.
3. Entitlement.Now, when I use the word entitlement, I'm not talking about money again. I'm talking about time, resources, faith, kindness, and the list goes on and on. One of the biggest things that irks me is when people just feel that the world owes them everything. I was raised to work hard for what I wanted, and if I wanted nice things, I had better ensure that I was successful. I was raised to volunteer, network and not find myself above anybody else, any job, etc. The world owes us nothing. We owe the world. God owes us nothing, but has given us everything. We owe God...we owe Him service, love, and so much more. Please do not be the kind of person who throws fits to get your way. Please do not be the kind of person who curses their family, friends or Heavenly Father because something didn't quite go down the path you wanted it to. Instead, cherish each trial as a lesson to become a better person. See hard work and diligence as ways to truly earn what you want and what you have. Don't take the easy road out. Don't let everyone else do it for you. Take accountability. Don't take a pill to lose weight and put all your faith into some money-back guarantee. Work for yourself by eating healthily, engaging in fitness activities, and treating your body better. Don't waste all your money on things you don't need and then just hope that you can borrow the money to pay your rent or car insurance. Use a budget and save. You are worth the investment.
2. Being fake.I feel like this goes without saying. Doesn't everyone have a pet peeve about things or people not being what they pretend to be? Just be who you are, okay? The right people will love you, no matter what flaws you think you have. Nobody is perfect. Doesn't everyone dislike when someone plays nice to your face but goes behind your back in attempts to destroy you? If you have a problem with someone, tell them. Work it out. In the end, revenge or spite will only lead to sorrow. Choose not to let gossip and hateful feelings control you. Instead, choose to spread amity. Choose to be an example of integrity. Choose to be real and honest, no matter how raw that reality may be.
1. Lack of etiquette, manners or just plain kindness.
Okay, so the number 1 thing that gets under my skin is this. Don't be rude just to be rude. Say please, thank you, and you're welcome. RSVP to a party when the invitation asks you to. Use R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Taking the time to use etiquette, manners, and kindness shows that you value your relationship with that person...whether it be a friendship, a marriage, a family relation, or a professional relationship. Failing to do so leads to the opposite, in which the other person feels underappreciated, ignored or not worth your time.
Okay, phew. That was a lot of negativity. I would like to end on a positive note. "Don't get discouraged. Things WILL work out."- Gordon B. Hinckley. No matter what, my husband always tells me "everything is going to be okay" and you know what? In one way or another, he's right. You will go on to another day, so why not fill that day with kindness, honesty, love, and respect?
Pet peeves are an interesting concept. An old acquaintance of mine pointed out the other day that pet peeves are literally being described as our cherished annoyances. As I do not cherish the idea of being annoyed, I will be listing these pet peeves of mine in order from least annoyance to most annoyance and not least cherished to most cherished.
5. Being a walking, talking mess.
Okay, so this is the lesser of my pet peeves but it is still in the top 5 because...well, let's just say that my friends have diagnosed me (jokingly) as having OCD...including a friend who probably really does have OCD. I can't stand messes. I can't stand disorder. I am the organizing queen, and if somehow I have let my apartment go without a good cleaning for too long, I just won't go home until it's livable again (luckily, I have a very nice husband who picks up my slack). However, at the uppermost pinpoint of this pet peeve are people who come into my clean or organized space and make a mess out of it. It's bad enough when I'm the one to blame...you see, I'm not very nice to myself if my DVDs aren't ordered by genre or if the couch doesn't smell like flowers. Therefore, it is very hard to remain calm when I find the after remnants of a guest to be pluckings from my feather pillows, trash not in the trash can, etc. It's not to say that to be a guest in my home you have to be like me. Of course not. If the whole world were like me, there would be ZERO messes...and messes can be turned into things like art. It's just that I would love for you to use a coaster and remove your shoes. In all seriousness, even if you leave rings on my furniture or break something, I still love you. I just may need to go to my happy place for a while. Ah, the mind vacations I take to the Bahamas.
4. Being so cheap that you either end up a mooch or a recluse.So, I have this thing where I like to organize get togethers and parties. For those of you who have seen the hit sitcom Friends, my lovely buddies call me "the Monica." I am all about Pinterest, and movie nights, and organized events. I am all about Friendsgiving, White Elephant Christmas parties, and ringing the New Year in with streamers, confetti, and kisses. In order to fulfill my craving for a good, well-organized time so frequently, I usually ask people to chip in with food or monetary contributions. We like to go Dutch when we go out with our friends, etcetera etcetera. What gets under my collar here is when someone will specifically not go out or join the party because they don't want to contribute. Now, myself and a lot of my friends are college students so I'm not talking about those hard times we all have between paychecks where we can't contribute. I always back my friends in those situations if I can, and they do the same for me. I'm talking about having the money and wanting to go, but not wanting to spend your money. Everyone likes to treat each other now and again, including me. However, this is not the automatic norm and friends should not expect other friends to foot all their social bills. Neither should family members. Or freaky vampires that sparkle. Okay, even I don't know where that last one came from. It's 3:54 in the morning and I'm still at work so....yeah.
3. Entitlement.Now, when I use the word entitlement, I'm not talking about money again. I'm talking about time, resources, faith, kindness, and the list goes on and on. One of the biggest things that irks me is when people just feel that the world owes them everything. I was raised to work hard for what I wanted, and if I wanted nice things, I had better ensure that I was successful. I was raised to volunteer, network and not find myself above anybody else, any job, etc. The world owes us nothing. We owe the world. God owes us nothing, but has given us everything. We owe God...we owe Him service, love, and so much more. Please do not be the kind of person who throws fits to get your way. Please do not be the kind of person who curses their family, friends or Heavenly Father because something didn't quite go down the path you wanted it to. Instead, cherish each trial as a lesson to become a better person. See hard work and diligence as ways to truly earn what you want and what you have. Don't take the easy road out. Don't let everyone else do it for you. Take accountability. Don't take a pill to lose weight and put all your faith into some money-back guarantee. Work for yourself by eating healthily, engaging in fitness activities, and treating your body better. Don't waste all your money on things you don't need and then just hope that you can borrow the money to pay your rent or car insurance. Use a budget and save. You are worth the investment.
2. Being fake.I feel like this goes without saying. Doesn't everyone have a pet peeve about things or people not being what they pretend to be? Just be who you are, okay? The right people will love you, no matter what flaws you think you have. Nobody is perfect. Doesn't everyone dislike when someone plays nice to your face but goes behind your back in attempts to destroy you? If you have a problem with someone, tell them. Work it out. In the end, revenge or spite will only lead to sorrow. Choose not to let gossip and hateful feelings control you. Instead, choose to spread amity. Choose to be an example of integrity. Choose to be real and honest, no matter how raw that reality may be.
1. Lack of etiquette, manners or just plain kindness.
Okay, so the number 1 thing that gets under my skin is this. Don't be rude just to be rude. Say please, thank you, and you're welcome. RSVP to a party when the invitation asks you to. Use R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Taking the time to use etiquette, manners, and kindness shows that you value your relationship with that person...whether it be a friendship, a marriage, a family relation, or a professional relationship. Failing to do so leads to the opposite, in which the other person feels underappreciated, ignored or not worth your time.
Okay, phew. That was a lot of negativity. I would like to end on a positive note. "Don't get discouraged. Things WILL work out."- Gordon B. Hinckley. No matter what, my husband always tells me "everything is going to be okay" and you know what? In one way or another, he's right. You will go on to another day, so why not fill that day with kindness, honesty, love, and respect?
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
My Views on Mainstream Music (Pinterest 30 Day Challenge- Day #6)
Not going to lie, I had to Google what mainstream music was to make sure I was right. It's finals week so have pity on me, okay?
Okay, so mainstream music is like Top 40 music. I'd be lying if I said that I don't fall into the trap of the new catchy single of the week, but they're not all winners.
Justin Bieber? Can't stand him. Carly Rae Jepsen? A few of her songs are all right. Taylor Swift? Lately, I end up hating her songs at first and then falling in love with them within a week.
Therefore, I'd have to say that my views depend on the song or the artist. Lyrics are really important to me, so if a song doesn't have a message that I agree with or if it's too repetitive, it's generally not my favorite.
Honestly, I like all kinds of music from Queen to Beyonce to Carrie Underwood so if it's a good song or a good artist in general, I'm in.
That being said, I'm going on a road trip next week and would love your musical recommendations!
Okay, so mainstream music is like Top 40 music. I'd be lying if I said that I don't fall into the trap of the new catchy single of the week, but they're not all winners.
Justin Bieber? Can't stand him. Carly Rae Jepsen? A few of her songs are all right. Taylor Swift? Lately, I end up hating her songs at first and then falling in love with them within a week.
Therefore, I'd have to say that my views depend on the song or the artist. Lyrics are really important to me, so if a song doesn't have a message that I agree with or if it's too repetitive, it's generally not my favorite.
Honestly, I like all kinds of music from Queen to Beyonce to Carrie Underwood so if it's a good song or a good artist in general, I'm in.
That being said, I'm going on a road trip next week and would love your musical recommendations!
Monday, July 20, 2015
Things I'd Say to an Ex (Pinterest 30 Day Challenge- Day #5)
I could not be more prepared to write this blog post. You see, on Saturday last, my friends and I drove out to a park and had a bonfire/smores session/burn party. Each of us wrote letters to people we needed to forgive, some of us including ourselves. We read these letters aloud and then burned them. It was all about leaving the past behind and moving forward without hate, without judgment, etc. It was a great bonding experience for those of us there, and it really was sort of cleansing to the soul. I recommend it especially for those with exes, bad roommates, former backstabbing friends, etc. Anyhow, because of my most recent weekend plans, I've said all the negative things I needed to say about each of them. Here is what I would say to each of them now:
Dear Ex-Boyfriend/s,
You messed up. I messed up. It's called being human. In the end, I ended up with the person I was always meant to love and always meant to share my life with. For some of you, you have met the princess to your prince as well and are well on your way to mostly happily-ever-after. I congratulate us both on loving again, and on finding who we really work with...who we can say absolutely nothing to but still feel close to, who we can share Netflix binges with, who helps us draw nearer to God. For those of you haven't met her yet, I hope that someday you will. I also hope that you will have learned from our mistakes in our relationship and treat her that much better.
I forgive you for everything you did. For some of you, I know you never meant to hurt me. For others, I know you did but that there were reasons behind your choices. There are some of you still that I truly hope get the help you need to live and love functionally. I would really like to sit here and tell you how everything you all did was so wrong (true), how I am worth more than how you all treated me (also true), and how I hope you all have to face the consequences (not so true anymore)....I imagine you will have to face consequences but I don't want to punish you anymore. I want you to learn and move forward. I want you to do what I am currently trying to do, which is to see all those mistakes as building blocks to where I am now. I am still not perfect. Neither are you. We never will be in this life. I am trying, though. I am trying to always be better than I was yesterday.
I used to hold on to everything, against myself and those from my past. I remembered every detail of every wrong made against me or committed by me...but that's not moving on. Moving on is acknowledging those mistakes yes, but then using them to be better. With some of you, I was too clingy. With others, I didn't stand up for myself or the others you hurt. Yet still with others, I lost my identity as I tried to morph into who you wanted me to be. Now, I am married to a handsome man with a beautiful soul. Despite how awesome he is, I have come to understand the need for times where you aren't always in each other's space. There is a true importance to alone time and what you can accomplish within it. He and I are always together, but sometimes apart. I have learned to use my voice, in defense of myself and those around me who need my help. Lastly, I have learned that who I am is okay with me. I was never the gothic or alternative girl you thought I was, although I really did/do like Good Charlotte and Simple Plan, and believe that black is a good color for me (just not covered from head to toe). I was never the 100% geek girl who loved video games/anime/whatever Myspace or Tumblr was obsessing over at the time, although I do occasionally play on my husband's Xbox and enjoy other "nerdy" things. I was never the girl I became for you. I was me, underneath all the perfectly researched and pretended interests... but I wanted you to like me more. I wanted to be who you wanted.
Now, I know that I only want to be liked for who I am and that's a lot of things. I love superhero movies, all kinds of music, dancing even though I can't, and studying true crime. I think the bubble bath is the best place for reading. I love history, but only the parts that I deem the most interesting. I read books meant for teenage girls and think they're really good despite the fact that I read at an above college level. I love things that everyone else makes fun of. Believe it or not, I used to adore Twilight...we're talking total fangirl who took a trip to Forks and posed in the meadow...until I researched it in college. I love shooting at targets but would never shoot an animal (although I don't shame those who do). I am all these things and more, and if you don't like that, I don't consider it a necessity to change myself anymore. I hope that you are or can become proud of yourself, no matter who is watching or silently judging. Let that be on them.
In closing, I hope that you live your life to the fullest and figure out what you need to in order to be happy and no longer hurt the ones you care about or love. I will no longer be held back by those who never really knew me, and therefore who I was never really with.
Warmest Regards,
Your Ex-Girlfriend
Dear Ex-Boyfriend/s,
You messed up. I messed up. It's called being human. In the end, I ended up with the person I was always meant to love and always meant to share my life with. For some of you, you have met the princess to your prince as well and are well on your way to mostly happily-ever-after. I congratulate us both on loving again, and on finding who we really work with...who we can say absolutely nothing to but still feel close to, who we can share Netflix binges with, who helps us draw nearer to God. For those of you haven't met her yet, I hope that someday you will. I also hope that you will have learned from our mistakes in our relationship and treat her that much better.
I forgive you for everything you did. For some of you, I know you never meant to hurt me. For others, I know you did but that there were reasons behind your choices. There are some of you still that I truly hope get the help you need to live and love functionally. I would really like to sit here and tell you how everything you all did was so wrong (true), how I am worth more than how you all treated me (also true), and how I hope you all have to face the consequences (not so true anymore)....I imagine you will have to face consequences but I don't want to punish you anymore. I want you to learn and move forward. I want you to do what I am currently trying to do, which is to see all those mistakes as building blocks to where I am now. I am still not perfect. Neither are you. We never will be in this life. I am trying, though. I am trying to always be better than I was yesterday.
I used to hold on to everything, against myself and those from my past. I remembered every detail of every wrong made against me or committed by me...but that's not moving on. Moving on is acknowledging those mistakes yes, but then using them to be better. With some of you, I was too clingy. With others, I didn't stand up for myself or the others you hurt. Yet still with others, I lost my identity as I tried to morph into who you wanted me to be. Now, I am married to a handsome man with a beautiful soul. Despite how awesome he is, I have come to understand the need for times where you aren't always in each other's space. There is a true importance to alone time and what you can accomplish within it. He and I are always together, but sometimes apart. I have learned to use my voice, in defense of myself and those around me who need my help. Lastly, I have learned that who I am is okay with me. I was never the gothic or alternative girl you thought I was, although I really did/do like Good Charlotte and Simple Plan, and believe that black is a good color for me (just not covered from head to toe). I was never the 100% geek girl who loved video games/anime/whatever Myspace or Tumblr was obsessing over at the time, although I do occasionally play on my husband's Xbox and enjoy other "nerdy" things. I was never the girl I became for you. I was me, underneath all the perfectly researched and pretended interests... but I wanted you to like me more. I wanted to be who you wanted.
Now, I know that I only want to be liked for who I am and that's a lot of things. I love superhero movies, all kinds of music, dancing even though I can't, and studying true crime. I think the bubble bath is the best place for reading. I love history, but only the parts that I deem the most interesting. I read books meant for teenage girls and think they're really good despite the fact that I read at an above college level. I love things that everyone else makes fun of. Believe it or not, I used to adore Twilight...we're talking total fangirl who took a trip to Forks and posed in the meadow...until I researched it in college. I love shooting at targets but would never shoot an animal (although I don't shame those who do). I am all these things and more, and if you don't like that, I don't consider it a necessity to change myself anymore. I hope that you are or can become proud of yourself, no matter who is watching or silently judging. Let that be on them.
In closing, I hope that you live your life to the fullest and figure out what you need to in order to be happy and no longer hurt the ones you care about or love. I will no longer be held back by those who never really knew me, and therefore who I was never really with.
Warmest Regards,
Your Ex-Girlfriend
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Bullet My Whole Day (Writing Challenge Day #4)
This time, my challenge subject seems a little off to me. For one, every single one of my days is different with only some consistencies. For this then, I will run you all through what a typical day looks like for me, perhaps with a little sarcasm inserted.
7:30AM (or earlier a lot of the times): Wake up. Admit to myself I hate waking up. Hit the snooze button and snuggle for just 9 more minutes with my adorable puppy and handsome husband.
7:45: Actually wake up, still hating it. Get ready for the day (e.g. Shower if I didn't the night before, shove something down my throat because I know breakfast is the healthiest meal of the day but I hate it unless it's bad-for-me-cereal or involves bacon and/or pancakes shaped like Minnie Mouse, brush my teeth, do my hair, do my makeup, miss my bed, review my agenda for the day, walk the dog, etc.)
8:30: Go to class or work, sometimes both.
12: Take a break from class or work and eat lunch (usually Ramen, cheap Mac and cheese, or leftovers)
1: back to work and/or class
5: Begin a never-ending stream of to-do list items.
6: Make and have dinner. Sometimes, I switch off with my bestie.
7: Exercise (swimming, walking, Just Dance or Insanity)
8: More never-ending to-do list items. Isn't my life so exciting?!
9PM on: hang out with friends, read, suck at playing Xbox, crash into bed at some point.
Ongoing: being a clutz, being a goofball, loving on my hubbie/friends/puppy, being stubborn, dreaming of meeting Ian Somerhalder or at least Tyler Ward, idolizing Lea Michele and fictional female powerhouses like Katniss Everdeen, and pretending I have some idea as to what's going on.
I hope you enjoyed a day in my life and are okay with the fact that I totally left out the top-secret fact that I'm Batman and actually fight crime all day. The end.
7:30AM (or earlier a lot of the times): Wake up. Admit to myself I hate waking up. Hit the snooze button and snuggle for just 9 more minutes with my adorable puppy and handsome husband.
7:45: Actually wake up, still hating it. Get ready for the day (e.g. Shower if I didn't the night before, shove something down my throat because I know breakfast is the healthiest meal of the day but I hate it unless it's bad-for-me-cereal or involves bacon and/or pancakes shaped like Minnie Mouse, brush my teeth, do my hair, do my makeup, miss my bed, review my agenda for the day, walk the dog, etc.)
8:30: Go to class or work, sometimes both.
12: Take a break from class or work and eat lunch (usually Ramen, cheap Mac and cheese, or leftovers)
1: back to work and/or class
5: Begin a never-ending stream of to-do list items.
6: Make and have dinner. Sometimes, I switch off with my bestie.
7: Exercise (swimming, walking, Just Dance or Insanity)
8: More never-ending to-do list items. Isn't my life so exciting?!
9PM on: hang out with friends, read, suck at playing Xbox, crash into bed at some point.
Ongoing: being a clutz, being a goofball, loving on my hubbie/friends/puppy, being stubborn, dreaming of meeting Ian Somerhalder or at least Tyler Ward, idolizing Lea Michele and fictional female powerhouses like Katniss Everdeen, and pretending I have some idea as to what's going on.
I hope you enjoyed a day in my life and are okay with the fact that I totally left out the top-secret fact that I'm Batman and actually fight crime all day. The end.
Monday, July 13, 2015
A Book I Love (Pinterest 30 Day Challenge- Day#3)
Let me just start by saying books are some of the greatest things ever, and I'm talking about real books...not magazines, not online articles, not even Kindles (personal preference), though these things all have a time and a place where they can be fun and informative too! I have so many books that I love, so many genres and so little time to enjoy them all. In fact, I love so many books quite equally that it's really hard to talk about just one...but I will try my best.
The book I would like to discuss today is "Mockingjay" by Suzanne Collins. It is the third book in the "Hunger Games" series, and if you haven't read the book, I am sure you have at least heard of Katniss, Peeta and their friends from their time in gracing the silver screen.
To briefly catch you up on the events from Books 1 and 2, "The Hunger Games" and "Catching Fire" respectively, the story line features main character, Katniss Everdeen. Katniss lives in a futuristic time in which America rebelled against its government and failed. The country is split into twelve districts and a Capitol. The capitol is where the elite live and control the districts,symbolizing government reign on the people when democracy fails. The districts are in varying degrees of poverty, with Districts 1 and 2 being favored heavily by the government. Katniss comes from District 12, the poorest of all the districts. She lives with her mother and sister, as her father passed away in a coal mining incident. Once a year, as punishment for their rebellion, the capitol calls two children aged anywhere from 12-18 (one male and one female) to fight in the Hunger Games. The Hunger Games is an event in which these twenty-four children will fight to the death. There is only one winner, and if that person wins, they are rewarded with riches and other perks for the rest of their life. Katniss' sister Primrose is only 12 and her name is selected. Katniss volunteers to take her place, and joins Peeta, a delightful and handsome baker boy, to represent her district. Through some tricks up Katniss' sleeve, both her and Peeta win the games and come home alive. That is the end of "The Hunger Games", minus several awesome details but if you want to know them, crack a book open over the summer and find out for yourself. In "Catching Fire", Katniss is called back to the Hunger Games due to a stupid rule for the Quarter Quell, which was totally made up just to spite her and Peeta despite the Capitol saying it was written at the beginning of the new political system. Her and Peeta go, make some allies, almost die about one hundred times, and then Katniss is lifted out of the arena after her actions trigger another full-scale rebellion, but Peeta is left behind.
There, you're all caught up. Seriously though, if that's a good enough explanation for you, we can't be friends. Just kidding, but you really should read the books if you haven't. In Mockingjay, Peeta comes to join Katniss in a secret district that will lead the fight against the Capitol. However, he was severely tortured and brainwashed so he wants to kill her. Gale is there too, being as smug as ever, and fueling her hatred toward just about everything and everyone. Prim remains Katniss' saving grace as the little sister who only sees a hero. Katniss fights in the revolution, but some bad stuff happens that I will not spoil here, and she ends up at home feeling all but completely dead, emotionally and physically. In the end, Peeta helps her to see love again and she fights her depression.
This is a book I love, because I love Katniss. She is all the things that I am, and all the things that I wish I could be. She is fierce, dedicated, motivated and individualistic. She doesn't shy from a fight, especially when she knows she is standing up for others who are in the right. She loves her sibling in an unconditional way, despite how most other siblings fight. She chooses her family over men, and supports them even without the influence of a father. Finally, she chooses someone to love based on their ability to make her want to be a better person. That is a good reason to love, as opposed to sharing mutual hatred and anger.
In the end, she is the mockingjay, a symbol of love overcoming hatred, and that is what I want to be. As many of you know, I love this country very much. I want to defend it as a law enforcement officer, and when I say "it", I mean the people. It is the people of our countries, our cultures, our families and our inner circle that make life worth living. To love all of them is to be above the squabbles and ready to fight for them rather than against them. Everywhere you look these days, there is some kind of ism- racism, sexism, ageism, nationalism, and so on. People are disrespecting history, denying God and trying so hard to fit in with what's current that they miss what's right. How can we demand the Dukes of Hazzard be removed from television for its painting of a confederate flag on a car's roof, but not demand that God stay in our schools and government? How is it okay to be upset at the racism, sexism or homophobia of yesterday or today, and then discriminate against others as revenge? The answer is that it's not. It's not okay. Racism isn't okay no matter what the color of your skin is. There's no such thing as reverse racism. It's just racism. Being homosexual and disrupting someone's life for having religious beliefs is no worse than them discriminating against you. Learn to love. Leave the hatred in the history textbooks, and move on. Be a mockingjay.
The book I would like to discuss today is "Mockingjay" by Suzanne Collins. It is the third book in the "Hunger Games" series, and if you haven't read the book, I am sure you have at least heard of Katniss, Peeta and their friends from their time in gracing the silver screen.
To briefly catch you up on the events from Books 1 and 2, "The Hunger Games" and "Catching Fire" respectively, the story line features main character, Katniss Everdeen. Katniss lives in a futuristic time in which America rebelled against its government and failed. The country is split into twelve districts and a Capitol. The capitol is where the elite live and control the districts,symbolizing government reign on the people when democracy fails. The districts are in varying degrees of poverty, with Districts 1 and 2 being favored heavily by the government. Katniss comes from District 12, the poorest of all the districts. She lives with her mother and sister, as her father passed away in a coal mining incident. Once a year, as punishment for their rebellion, the capitol calls two children aged anywhere from 12-18 (one male and one female) to fight in the Hunger Games. The Hunger Games is an event in which these twenty-four children will fight to the death. There is only one winner, and if that person wins, they are rewarded with riches and other perks for the rest of their life. Katniss' sister Primrose is only 12 and her name is selected. Katniss volunteers to take her place, and joins Peeta, a delightful and handsome baker boy, to represent her district. Through some tricks up Katniss' sleeve, both her and Peeta win the games and come home alive. That is the end of "The Hunger Games", minus several awesome details but if you want to know them, crack a book open over the summer and find out for yourself. In "Catching Fire", Katniss is called back to the Hunger Games due to a stupid rule for the Quarter Quell, which was totally made up just to spite her and Peeta despite the Capitol saying it was written at the beginning of the new political system. Her and Peeta go, make some allies, almost die about one hundred times, and then Katniss is lifted out of the arena after her actions trigger another full-scale rebellion, but Peeta is left behind.
There, you're all caught up. Seriously though, if that's a good enough explanation for you, we can't be friends. Just kidding, but you really should read the books if you haven't. In Mockingjay, Peeta comes to join Katniss in a secret district that will lead the fight against the Capitol. However, he was severely tortured and brainwashed so he wants to kill her. Gale is there too, being as smug as ever, and fueling her hatred toward just about everything and everyone. Prim remains Katniss' saving grace as the little sister who only sees a hero. Katniss fights in the revolution, but some bad stuff happens that I will not spoil here, and she ends up at home feeling all but completely dead, emotionally and physically. In the end, Peeta helps her to see love again and she fights her depression.
This is a book I love, because I love Katniss. She is all the things that I am, and all the things that I wish I could be. She is fierce, dedicated, motivated and individualistic. She doesn't shy from a fight, especially when she knows she is standing up for others who are in the right. She loves her sibling in an unconditional way, despite how most other siblings fight. She chooses her family over men, and supports them even without the influence of a father. Finally, she chooses someone to love based on their ability to make her want to be a better person. That is a good reason to love, as opposed to sharing mutual hatred and anger.
In the end, she is the mockingjay, a symbol of love overcoming hatred, and that is what I want to be. As many of you know, I love this country very much. I want to defend it as a law enforcement officer, and when I say "it", I mean the people. It is the people of our countries, our cultures, our families and our inner circle that make life worth living. To love all of them is to be above the squabbles and ready to fight for them rather than against them. Everywhere you look these days, there is some kind of ism- racism, sexism, ageism, nationalism, and so on. People are disrespecting history, denying God and trying so hard to fit in with what's current that they miss what's right. How can we demand the Dukes of Hazzard be removed from television for its painting of a confederate flag on a car's roof, but not demand that God stay in our schools and government? How is it okay to be upset at the racism, sexism or homophobia of yesterday or today, and then discriminate against others as revenge? The answer is that it's not. It's not okay. Racism isn't okay no matter what the color of your skin is. There's no such thing as reverse racism. It's just racism. Being homosexual and disrupting someone's life for having religious beliefs is no worse than them discriminating against you. Learn to love. Leave the hatred in the history textbooks, and move on. Be a mockingjay.
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